


Broken

by orphan_account



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Clonecest, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 01:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4328889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sarah never expected to see Beth again but now that she has, she won't let her make the same mistake twice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

  * For [waltzmatildah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/waltzmatildah/gifts).



“You’re not broken, you hear me? No more than I am anyway.”

Beth didn’t so much as shift in the hospital bed but Sarah caught the slight movement of her head. It tilted ever so slightly in her direction so Beth could hear her words a little more clearly. Proved to Sarah that even if Beth seemed intent in not speaking, she wasn’t outright ignoring her words.

After that near fatal suicide attempt where Sarah managed to grab her at the last minute, things had been tense between them. Sarah tried to get some answers that night but Beth was hysterical. After a physical altercation, Beth took off with nothing except the clothes on her back.

A year or year and a half later (time was lost on Sarah by this point), Beth reappeared. She had to deal with the pain her absence had caused and the changes that had come about with those Beth knew.

The recent suicide attempt put Beth back in the hospital. Seemed like that even over a year of being gone hadn’t healed her. If anything, it made Beth worse.

“I see you tomorrow, yeah?” Sarah had to get back to Kira who was probably ignoring Mrs. S.’s attempts to get her to go to bed. The kid wanted to see her mum first.

Beth turned her head at that statement. “Why bother?”

“I’m not gonna stop keeping constant vigil around your bed, Beth. You won’t be alone this time.” 

Sarah could’ve easily gone after Beth back then but didn’t. Instead, Sarah chose to impersonate her. This was a chance to make up for that, to make Beth understand how important she was to all of her sisters.

A bitter laugh bubbled out of Beth’s throat. “I feel more alone now than I ever did during the time I was gone.”

“Yeah, well you're not, Beth. Whether you want to believe it or not.”

Sarah walked out with the same feeling she had yesterday. No matter how much she tried to convince Beth otherwise, she wouldn’t listen. It wasn’t in Sarah to give up easily, though. If Sarah had then she still wouldn’t be trying to break completely free of Dyad and all the people that wanted to fuck with her and her sisters.

The next afternoon, Sarah went to see Beth. Beth seemed to be in a state similar to yesterday but at least turned to look at her.

“I told you not to bother, Sarah. When will you understand I don’t want anything to do with this anymore,” Beth snapped but it lacked any bite.

“Beth, you think I don’t fucking get it? I know exactly what it’s like to want to be done with all this shit but you keep pushing on.”

Beth pushed the covers off and unexpectedly climbed off the bed. She walked towards Sarah, only stopping when their faces were inches apart. “You should have let me die, Sarah. Why couldn’t you just let me die?”

“How could I let you die, Beth?” Sarah wanted to tell Beth how important she was to her and all of them really. The path Beth was going down made everything surrounding her unpredictable. Saying the wrong thing could trigger something in Beth and the was the last thing she wanted to do.

“Because I am nothing; we are nothing,” Beth hissed. “All we are is somebody’s failed science experiment. None of us are even real.”

Sarah couldn’t contain the snarl that flashed across her features. She leaned forward and pressed their lips together. The kiss was brief but it didn’t stop the kiss from being passionate. When Sarah broke it, she looked into Beth’s eyes “Did that feel real to you, Beth? It felt real to me because we are fucking real and we are something.”

“You can tell yourself that all you want Sarah but it doesn’t change the fact that our genetic makeup is thanks to a lab.” Beth’s voice was softer now, the bite gone but the hardened expression remained the same.

She shook her head. “You will always be real to me, Beth.”

The second kiss was longer and Beth responded eventually, only to break it off seconds later. “Stop it, Sarah. You’re not going to convince me with that.”

Beth turned and walked back towards the bed, ignoring the looks Sarah gave her.

“I know you felt something Beth. The way you looked at me…” Sarah swallowed. “Did you ever once feel that way with Paul or look at him like that?”

“Get out.” Beth’s voice was clipped, her intention clear. She wanted nothing to do with Sarah-- at the moment or perhaps even for good. That wasn’t something Sarah wanted at all.

Sarah winced. “Beth--”

“I said get out, Sarah! What part of that don’t you fucking understand?”

Sarah rushed out of the room reluctantly and started down the hall. Her pace remained steady until she got out of the hospital. It was only then Sarah felt like she was going to collapse. Beth was supposed to get better or make a little progress but she hadn’t made any.

Where was Beth for all that time? What had she gone through?

She didn’t think she’d get any answers now. Felix tried to convince her to go back the next day and the next. It wasn’t until the third day Sarah did show up to see Beth.

“I don’t want to see you anymore, Sarah. Didn’t I make that clear the last time we spoke?” Beth asked flatly.

“Beth, I didn’t mean to push you--”

“Sarah, why do you think I wanted to end things that day? Do you think it was just a whim I had?”

“Of course, not--”

“What do you think the reason was then?”

Sarah scowled. “Oi, stop interrupting me!”

All Beth did was stare blankly at her. “Well?”

“You were overwhelmed with all of the clone club shit. I was in the same place a couple of months ago, Beth. I fucking understand where your coming from.”

Beth turned away. “Please just leave, Sarah.”

This time, Sarah left without a fuss.


End file.
